Then, lately, I've been having these second thoughts about my personal definition of the whole story of the "Soul-mate-ness."
I've imagined the thing as:
- Falling madly in love!
- Butterflies in my tummy!
- Growing shy! - It's my sign I swear! I know I like the guy when I go shy & uncertain! *Dorky smile*
Then,
- Being at ease in his company.
- Enjoying the silence.
- Speaking my mind loud. - Knowing surely that he'll get exactly what I mean/feel/intend to convey.
- And many more.
Then again, as I watch married couples around me, I see that even if they happened to have the whole "Soul-mate-ness" phenomenon before marriage, it certainlly dissolved!
My cousin has many serious troubles with her husband. She says that after less than 1 month! they started to face the ugly reality! They are horribly different! She refers that to although they had a 9 months period of Melka, they did not spend it into learning more about each other. It was not like discussing various issues in life to get to know their personal views. It was all like: "A7obbek oo t7obeeni & kisses!" -- Duhh! That's the tremendous mistake she states. She has a baby girl!
My uncle has even a disastrous marriage. He always says that his wife is everything he's never wanted! And he was "driven" handcuffed into this marriage under higher authority's - Family pressure! -- Duhh! Imagine!! He has 2 baby boys!
- Note to self: Fight to bring yourself to understand howcome people "claim" to have troublesome spouses, and "keep bringing doomed childern to this miserable life!"
Now what I concluded is that:
- In my cousin's case: She either secretly blindly in love with her husband, who's literally abuses her, or she fears getting the title of "22-year-old divorcee!"
- In my uncle's case: He already admits that living in hell with his ugly wife is much more better than the loneliness he suffered being the only single guy in the family and among his friends!
Then I look at Mom & Dad. Ma Sha2 Allah, La Qwwat Ella Bellah. My Mom always says that they never had the "Butterflies" nor "Madly in Love" state. But I see what I've become more and even more interested into, the "Attachment." I see how they are at ease with each other, enjoying the silence and speaking up; especially Mom. Eventhough I've witnessed a couple of ups & downs between them, it's just hard picturing them leading lives separated from each other. Although they had and still having their small fights every now and then during the course of their 32 years long lasting -In Sha2 Allah- marriage, in my mind; they are glued to one another forming one entity... one being.
I'm finding myself more Out of "Madly in Love" state, In the "Partnership" bond. Where it should be like:
- Me & you all the way long, no matter how badly we fight - I know we'll get our share! :D
Yet, that must be built on a sloid foundation. And again, my blueprint is:
- Total Agreement on: Religious views, Daily routine, Likes & dislikes, Completing each other's personal mode/mood, the Willingness of sticking together and Fight for the unity.
On the other hand, the Qura'nic verse has always fascinated me. As the word "Love" has only been mentioned once through the Holy Qura'n. And it was to describe a devilish sensation too!
."في سورة يوسف، قوله تعالى: "شغفها حباً
Whereas the true genuine feeling is the "Intimacy" - "وجعلنا بينهما مودةً ورحمة"
I've been watching Good Will Hunting the other day. And this small dialogue between Matt Damon & Robin Williams grabbed my attention:
WILL – Matt Damon: You ever think about gettin' remarried?
SEAN – Robin Williams: My wife's dead.
WILL: Hence, the word remarried.
SEAN: She's dead.
WILL: Well I think that's a wonderful philosophy, Sean. That way you can go through the rest of your life without having to really know anyone.
A beat. Sean smiles.
SEAN: Time's up.
Do they exist?
People still attached to their spouses, even after being parted because of death?!
I don't want the love of sweet words!
I want this!
! السُكنى
The Attachment!
I'm lost!! :S
This post is so missing a theme! :S
What I know is that, I loved this article:
http://www.boundless.org/2005/articles/a0001123.cfm
And it got me supporting the "Myth" notion by all means! :)
Well, I had some thoughts going around inside my busy head about the whole Relashionship concept..
And that was my Final Perspective!
According & derived mn al Ayah Al Qur2aniah: "هنّ لباس لكم وأنتم لباس لهنّ"
I wanted & still do to write a complete post about it, but I'm a bit busy-minded... AGAIN!!! :D
Enjoy the rest of your weekend sweetie! :)
My cousin got married to the man who was mad in love with her, she was also madly in love with him. He did not abuse her but sometimes he was mean to her and I remember once they had this big fight and she went back to her parents.
I wish I could explain my idea in a more clear way. My point is, my mind cannot manage bringing "madly in love" & "big fight and she went back to her parents" together!! The two states totally contradicts each other!
This is so frustrating!
I understand that "life is a bitch you've got to **** her" & I know I'll get my fights too, but not to the extent of going back to my parents! Especially if a state of "Insane love" once occurred!
That's why I pray for Partnership instead of Love, it sounds more secure to me!
BTW: My cousin went & still going to her parents every now & then, one time she stayed in their place for 9 months! Can you imgine!(& they were madly in love!)
you reminded me of omar bin alkhattab's story, when this guy was on his way to omar's place to ask him how to deal with his angry wife, he apporached omar's house and over heard his wife raising her voice at him.. then he left immediately (i don't know the whole thing btw) anyways, then omar follows the guy, and asks him what he wanted..
the guy replied with his problem, and added that your wife was shouting at you.. then omar replied -i love this part :D- والله إنها لغسالة لثيابي، وطباخة لطعامي.. forgot the rest :) but i guess you get the point.. marriage disagreements and fights and getting over them are worth it :D or at least that's what i think..
loved ur post. and it is true. it's this enduring attachment what matters the most. not the temporary lovey-dovey status...but how could a girl find such a thing?!!
when i saw (the fountain), i was astounded too by the depth of the attachment. i guess it's only lucky ppl,mashallah, who could live it..
I totally agree on "Religious views, Daily routine, Likes & dislikes, Completing each other's personal mode/mood, the Willingness of sticking together and Fight for the unity."
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