Then, lately, I've been having these second thoughts about my personal definition of the whole story of the "Soul-mate-ness."
I've imagined the thing as:
- Falling madly in love!
- Butterflies in my tummy!
- Growing shy! - It's my sign I swear! I know I like the guy when I go shy & uncertain! *Dorky smile*
Then,
- Being at ease in his company.
- Enjoying the silence.
- Speaking my mind loud. - Knowing surely that he'll get exactly what I mean/feel/intend to convey.
- And many more.
Then again, as I watch married couples around me, I see that even if they happened to have the whole "Soul-mate-ness" phenomenon before marriage, it certainlly dissolved!
My cousin has many serious troubles with her husband. She says that after less than 1 month! they started to face the ugly reality! They are horribly different! She refers that to although they had a 9 months period of Melka, they did not spend it into learning more about each other. It was not like discussing various issues in life to get to know their personal views. It was all like: "A7obbek oo t7obeeni & kisses!" -- Duhh! That's the tremendous mistake she states. She has a baby girl!
My uncle has even a disastrous marriage. He always says that his wife is everything he's never wanted! And he was "driven" handcuffed into this marriage under higher authority's - Family pressure! -- Duhh! Imagine!! He has 2 baby boys!
- Note to self: Fight to bring yourself to understand howcome people "claim" to have troublesome spouses, and "keep bringing doomed childern to this miserable life!"
Now what I concluded is that:
- In my cousin's case: She either secretly blindly in love with her husband, who's literally abuses her, or she fears getting the title of "22-year-old divorcee!"
- In my uncle's case: He already admits that living in hell with his ugly wife is much more better than the loneliness he suffered being the only single guy in the family and among his friends!
Then I look at Mom & Dad. Ma Sha2 Allah, La Qwwat Ella Bellah. My Mom always says that they never had the "Butterflies" nor "Madly in Love" state. But I see what I've become more and even more interested into, the "Attachment." I see how they are at ease with each other, enjoying the silence and speaking up; especially Mom. Eventhough I've witnessed a couple of ups & downs between them, it's just hard picturing them leading lives separated from each other. Although they had and still having their small fights every now and then during the course of their 32 years long lasting -In Sha2 Allah- marriage, in my mind; they are glued to one another forming one entity... one being.
I'm finding myself more Out of "Madly in Love" state, In the "Partnership" bond. Where it should be like:
- Me & you all the way long, no matter how badly we fight - I know we'll get our share! :D
Yet, that must be built on a sloid foundation. And again, my blueprint is:
- Total Agreement on: Religious views, Daily routine, Likes & dislikes, Completing each other's personal mode/mood, the Willingness of sticking together and Fight for the unity.
On the other hand, the Qura'nic verse has always fascinated me. As the word "Love" has only been mentioned once through the Holy Qura'n. And it was to describe a devilish sensation too!
."في سورة يوسف، قوله تعالى: "شغفها حباً
Whereas the true genuine feeling is the "Intimacy" - "وجعلنا بينهما مودةً ورحمة"
I've been watching Good Will Hunting the other day. And this small dialogue between Matt Damon & Robin Williams grabbed my attention:
WILL – Matt Damon: You ever think about gettin' remarried?
SEAN – Robin Williams: My wife's dead.
WILL: Hence, the word remarried.
SEAN: She's dead.
WILL: Well I think that's a wonderful philosophy, Sean. That way you can go through the rest of your life without having to really know anyone.
A beat. Sean smiles.
SEAN: Time's up.
Do they exist?
People still attached to their spouses, even after being parted because of death?!
I don't want the love of sweet words!
I want this!
! السُكنى
The Attachment!
I'm lost!! :S
This post is so missing a theme! :S
What I know is that, I loved this article:
http://www.boundless.org/2005/articles/a0001123.cfm
And it got me supporting the "Myth" notion by all means! :)
I'm so much Proud of myself!
Yes, with a capital P, I; indeed; am!
Yesterday, I had the most Courageous, Brave, Grown-up attitude ever!
I was in a haste..
Just coming out of Bin 7omran building, as I visited my dentist..
Was really mind-occupied about the next check-up appointment..
Reminiscing & thinking over & over again..
That was a lot of fun!
I just LOVE the guy! :D
Remembered that I noticed a white cotton trousers I liked in ZARA the day before..
But couldn't stop to check it out as I was again, in a haste!
So I decided to go & buy it to cheer myself up..
Stepped out of the car..
Marched trottingly to the crystal clear "Automatic Doors" of the gate..
With my eyes fixed on the lingerie that were on the shop window of La Senza..
STUPIDLY HIT THE DOOR AND BOUNCED BACK!!!!
I DID BANG AGAINST THE AUTOMATIC DOORS,
AND BOUNCED BACK!
Guys,
That was just as if you were sitting calmly mind-absorbed..
And an icy bucket of water was poured down at you!!
That moment the door slide opened - Goodmorning!!- and I, in a gigantic surprise yelled at the salesman who rushed out of Nine West to check the tremendous clash bam I caused..
I was like: "I DIDN'T SEE IT!!!"
Courageously, entered the ZARA show room to find EVERYONE, around 30 human beings, men, ladies & kids, frozen staring at me!!!!!
It was as if I paused a scene in a movie or something!!!
Everyone was looking frozen in a shock, no move, no sound..
I continued walking to the stair case with my eyes on the floor till I met the supervisor in front of me, there I HAD to say something..
So I said: "Kont ra7 a3mellakom crisis barrah!!" and smiled half-laughing drowned in embarrassment!
He was like: "7amdillah 3assalameh! inty mnee7a???? Sar elik ta3weed 3anna halla2!" trying to sound funny that bastard!!!
I said I'm Ok & moved to the 2nd floor, quickly grabbed the pants, payed for it & rushed out while ALL the salesmen were "Monshake7een" smiling at me!!!!
OK that was just a major public display of courage..
But it was too the last time I ever step a foot in ZARA AlTa7liah!
I'm not going there; not in the next 20 years!
Not untill they change all their staff & supervisor!!
Oh, and by the way, I WAS NOT OK!!!!!!
I hurt my toetips..
The right side of my face was totally numbed..
I still have a bump in my eyebrow..
And my ego is burning as hell!!!!
Labels: When Shit happens 'n' the mood is simply cranky
¶ 3:01 PM 14 Comments
