Me alone...
Thursday, November 30, 2006
Suffering the Missing...
And thought of letting you into the bits & pieces of me..
* Right now, I'm missing you like hell!
* A lump of tears still forms in my throat each time the same subject pops up.
* Fear of losing you, although recently you are becoming more of a memory.
* Don't feel interested into online-meeting new people, & seems like youngers are so attracted to me in this phase of life! I'm willingly giving them my real info. Kids are sweet. Don't hurt my heart!
* Back to the Horse thing! & this time I'm determined.
* Angry at what's happening to Lebanon. The other day I was laughingly telling others: "Bombing, no bombing, I'm going to Lebanon!" My luck is being too cheezy with Lebanon lately! I miss there.. a lot! :(
* My back is back to aching!
* Still as fat as you left me.
* Mornings are truly hard without you.
* You are the love of my life. The only one!
* Right now, I'm missing you like hell!
* A lump of tears still forms in my throat each time the same subject pops up.
* Fear of losing you, although recently you are becoming more of a memory.
* Don't feel interested into online-meeting new people, & seems like youngers are so attracted to me in this phase of life! I'm willingly giving them my real info. Kids are sweet. Don't hurt my heart!
* Back to the Horse thing! & this time I'm determined.
* Angry at what's happening to Lebanon. The other day I was laughingly telling others: "Bombing, no bombing, I'm going to Lebanon!" My luck is being too cheezy with Lebanon lately! I miss there.. a lot! :(
* My back is back to aching!
* Still as fat as you left me.
* Mornings are truly hard without you.
* You are the love of my life. The only one!
¶ 1:46 AM 2 Comments
Wednesday, November 22, 2006
Will have a serious talk later! ;P
¶ 11:47 PM 4 Comments
Talking about Found & Lost...
*Hopefully, Lost & Found...
I'm more of an optimistic person. A Sagittarius after all! :)
It's life, that dictates and applies its own rules. Being the mature little girl I am, I learnrd that neither happiness ever lasts, nor sadness. So why get easily vulnerable and dejected by everday's ups & downs?!- Now these are the words of a wise wise young lady, who's her little brother tries as hard to seduce her into Play Station2 and computer games and she's always been rocky resistant! :P
When I first determined a new biginning, it was the decision by the mode of a ballistic missile!
To tell the truth, I didn't feel like I need to pull any trigger or so! It was hard I admit, but I understand my nature. I'm someone who must jump off the edge to get what I have in mind into action, i.e.: Suicidal Nature! :P otherwise, simply, it would never going to happen!
Million things were going round and round through my head, but that exact moment where I made the re-start shot, was the jumping-off-the-edge moment.
Later on, I felt a teeny tiny bitter taste in my mouth!
The taste of Ugly Lost!
***
Soundtracked by: 'You're Beautiful'- James Blunt.
That same Lost I felt for some recurring times after I donated my whole bunch of stuffy puppies, huggy bunnies & teddy bears. That was about 5 years ago, and till this right moment; I can still sense & suffer of the fara3' 3a6efy I gained out of my hasty action...! I've only kept1 brownie teddy bear that I still hug every night & really cherish it.
That same feeling of Lost I got hit by when I sent my PC to get it formatted- my idiot brother's advice; for it turned out that the PC needed no formatting! That day I was busy & sort of high & exultant for some reason & fundamentally occupied that I didn't bother reminding the guys to save my stuff on the D drive, I thought that the mohandis knows me well for 6 years now and he always does keep my documents safe. Bad news, the mohandis who worked on my PC that day was another mohandis & by the time I received it & checked my treasures of many many university researches, personal journals & literary writings that were composed through long years of mine, all the pix I've been collecting & other significantly dearing letters & e-mails & msgs from my beloved old friends.... Gone!
I had the worst days ever for the following... a trauma.
My point is, one can never count the gloomy incidents that they got forced to face, or depressing against-will decisions they grow obliged to make.
Every morning you wake up, dose not necessarily promise to be your day!- This isn't a call for becoming a gloomy Gus, wet blanket or a party pooper! It's just a hint for us all, to try handling life as it is, with the whole load of crap it offers. And as Prozac A7madita suggests on his blog: "SMILE! Life is shit anyways! :D"
That same feeling of Lost I got hit by when I sent my PC to get it formatted- my idiot brother's advice; for it turned out that the PC needed no formatting! That day I was busy & sort of high & exultant for some reason & fundamentally occupied that I didn't bother reminding the guys to save my stuff on the D drive, I thought that the mohandis knows me well for 6 years now and he always does keep my documents safe. Bad news, the mohandis who worked on my PC that day was another mohandis & by the time I received it & checked my treasures of many many university researches, personal journals & literary writings that were composed through long years of mine, all the pix I've been collecting & other significantly dearing letters & e-mails & msgs from my beloved old friends.... Gone!
I had the worst days ever for the following... a trauma.
My point is, one can never count the gloomy incidents that they got forced to face, or depressing against-will decisions they grow obliged to make.
Every morning you wake up, dose not necessarily promise to be your day!- This isn't a call for becoming a gloomy Gus, wet blanket or a party pooper! It's just a hint for us all, to try handling life as it is, with the whole load of crap it offers. And as Prozac A7madita suggests on his blog: "SMILE! Life is shit anyways! :D"
Have a bright morning everybody! ;)
* * *
Soundtracked by: 'Insan Akthar'- 3abdalmajeed 3abdallah.
When the upsetting moments - any loss in this case- recur just to get me into the blues, I try as much to look at the bright side. I know that when one door is closed, another is opened. And I'm just quite sure that God always has a better plan for me. It only takes a careful look & true determination to accept the change.
* Refer to 'Who Moved My Cheese?' :)
* Refer to 'Who Moved My Cheese?' :)
¶ 11:47 PM 4 Comments
Tuesday, November 21, 2006
